The past few years have been the most difficult years of my life. I’ve spent a lot of time living in fear. Saying no to things, to people, to relationships. I’ve been closed off and full of pain and detached from the world around me. Pushing for answers that just come in time. Aching for solace that can only come from real connection.
In times like these, saying no serves a real and significant purpose. It allows you to let go of things that are no longer serving you. Things that are weighing you down. Things you’re not ready for. It allows you to de-clutter and “clean house” so to say, to remove yourself from situations or people that are hindering your own healing or your own growth.
The more I heal, the more I feel like myself again. The more I feel like myself again, the happier I become. The happier I become, the more fulfilled I am. And the more fulfilled I am, the more I have to give.
Giving to others is not easy when you are coming from a depleted place. It’s not easy to say yes. It’s not easy to stay open. It’s not easy to give what little energy you have to filling someone else’s expectations of the way you should be.
Healing takes a long ass time. It also takes patience and forgiveness. The people you surround yourself with become your family, your personal floatation device, your saving grace. You learn to let go of the people who don’t understand. You learn to stop feeding the patterns. You learn that all you can do is keep moving forward.
As I ring in the New Year, there is only one thing that comes to mind. That I am finally ready to start over.
This year, my mantra is SAY YES. To people, to experiences, to connection. To doing things differently and staying open in the process. To trusting with my heart and learning how to love. Building new friendships and living new places. Seeing new things and taking new risks. To basically anything and everything outside my comfort zone.
Getting here has not been an easy road. But when you start becoming tired of being closed off, you realize it’s because you’re finally ready to let things in.
Bring it on 2017. I’ve been waiting for you.